(Originally published 8/29/2008)
"I've been a woman my whole life and every part of me believes in the empowerment of women. But the truth is I'm a free woman. And being free means you get to thing for yourself, and you get to decide for yourself what to do. I'm just following my own truth…" –Oprah Winfrey (February 3, 2008)
For the last 19 months, I have gone from wondering what the hell Barack was doing, to being pissed off at what he was doing, and finally to not giving a damn about what he was doing. After much arguing with all sorts of friends in person and online, I had resigned myself to provide little quips when challenged, but mainly lay off discussing the man.
Why?
Because I didn't trust, respect, or like the man. Although I'd worked on his 2004 run for U.S. Senate, I had never supported his "historic" campaign to grab the title of Free Leader of the World. There were MANY different reasons for this, as I'm sure most of the folks reading this note will already know. (Rehashing them would take forever.)
So, last night, I was prepared NOT to watch that doggone speech. My friend chided me for planning on missing a "historic" moment in history because of my disagreements with the man. So we began to watch and listen to the pre-speech video together.
I was disgusted. I'm thinking, "ohmigod, ain't nobody but white folks in this damn video! And folks call him, BLACK?" I felt my annoyance factor rise once again.
As the video goes off, people start chanting, "Yes we can," or "O-ba-ma" or one of those cutsie-poo slogans, so I did my usual loud sighing and made and excuse to push off.
I walked out of my room with every intent of going to get a lime frozen fruit bar when I heard my mama performing the Black church clap. This surprised me because I do not live in a Obama supporter house. When he is mentioned, it is usually in a negative way, so the clap confused me. (i.e. my sister introducing her and her friend's creation of the term "Obamaed," which they define as being sold out. "Awww no, you got Obamaed!") And although I do I believe he'll win in November, that doesn't mean I have to like him, or his decisions, or his actions, or his rhetoric. (I will be the FIRST to admit that the competition is NADA though.)
I stopped in the hallway and turned into her bedroom. I asked her, "what are you clapping at?" (I'm sure it came out sounding like more of an accusation because I haven't trusted her since she admitted that she voted for him in the primaries because, "well…girl, I been kinda waitin for this day. He's Black." I felt like my mother had to be much more intelligent than that.)
However, my mother doesn't give that clap to just any-ole-body. That's a clap from CHURCH. That means that this clap is only performed when she hears somebody telling what she honestly believes is THE TRUTH. My mother knows truth from deception a lot more than I do.
So, I sat down.….and was blown away.
At first, I was resistant and hesitant. I'll even admit that I missed the first couple minutes because that I really wanted to go get that lime bar. When I came back up, I was immediately drawn to what he was saying because it diminished one of my major issues with him. I've felt that I don't know WHAT he's really going to do about any of the situations we've found ourselves in by having Bozo T. Clown as a president for 8 years. I've felt like I've had to go out of my way to view his plans on issues that concern me while I can turn on my TV at any given moment and hear him talk about another candidate. As I once said, "change don't do nothing but sound good."
But last night, he laid it out there…for all to see. And in addition to that, HE TALKED HIS ASS OFF. The last part…after he talked about the solutions and plans…was HOT. I am a sucka for a slick-talkin Negro…and he was talkin slick last night. I appreciated how I felt that he made an honest appeal to everyone. My mother stated that she didn't know if he was going to do all of that, but it surely sounded good.
But even a little more than that, he gave me……dare I say it…Hope.
Yep, that one little concept that I have been running from. Although I'd been feeling much of his speech, the part that really drove it home for me was when he began to talk about pessimistic Americans (i.e. me) who felt that the government was so broken that it could never be fixed. These people felt so let down by their government, and many fellow citizens, that they refused to believe that any real change could ever occur. (As the Black preachers says, "he had pulled onto my block.")
But then he began to bring it home about change REALLY being possible (I can't even believe I'm typing this y'all.). And I felt like, "ok, I can dig it." I saw him stumble a bit when he began to talk about our gay and lesbian brothers and sisters who should be able to…visit their loved ones in the hospital. I know he couldn't say they should "be able to get married, fools!" But I could forgive that because he went there. (I often use a politicians stance on GLBTQ rights to ascertain if they're truly down for change. Don't really know why.) I suppose that everyone wants to have some hope. Even if they think it might be a little irrational. And Barack tapped into that with me.
I had previously confessed to several friends (i.e. Kellee, Bukola, Brace, etc.) that I was envious of the Black community's enthusiasm over this man. I felt robbed of an experience that I badly wanted to have. I wanted to be extremely happy, hopeful, and proud when the first viable Black candidate came along, and I wasn't. I WAS happy that he provided so many Black people with a common positive cause to rally around and become excited about. I was happy to see little Black boys at the Taurus Steak shop yell, "ooooh mama, he got on a Obama shiiiiiirt! I WAS happy to see so many Black women crying and saying that they'd never thought this day would come, and that they were happy to be able to see it.
And in addition to that, I'm a free woman.
So, as my girl Keyshia Cole would say, "I changed myyy miiiind…"
I'm not going to wear buttons, t-shirts, caps, lanyards, water bottles, sweater vests, etc, with an "O" on them. I will still call Barack out if I think he's not on track. This is the job and duty of every American citizen.
But I'm voting for him. And now when I see someone on the bus with a pin on their lapel, I'll give the silent nod. Even though Bukola said she'd save me a seat on her proverbial Obama bus, I believe this free woman will drive herself.
Obama – Biden…2008.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Black Female Harassment
I’ve been trying to write a blog about a problem I’m having for a couple of weeks now. Although I’ve had this problem since high school, I have just recently begun to delve into the issue to try to figure out what I should do and how I should feel about it. The issue frustrates me so much that I’ve had trouble putting my feelings about it into words.
The problem is that of the harassment and verbal abuse I, and many other Black women have been the victim of at the hands (and mouths) of Black men. I know that, “harassment,” “verbal abuse,” and “victim,” seem like harsh terms to describe what many people deem as the normal interactions between Black men and women. However, I’m not interested in sugarcoating this shit.
I walked out of my house with my sister and before we could get to our block’s corner, a car-full of Black males had passed us leering and yelling, “ay girl,” among other things. As we walked back from our destination, a lone Black man trailed behind us making smacking noises that I guess were suppose to express his appreciation for what he saw. In between these two incidents, no less than three cars had passed holding Black men that stared at our bodies as if they were inspecting livestock.
Honestly, it is a rare occasion for me to step out of the house to go anywhere and return without at least one of these incidents occurring. Normally, while they are almost ALWAYS disrespectful, after the perpetrator sees that I am paying no attention to them and do not plan on acknowledging their presence or their words, they quietly move on. But then there are the times when my lack of interest is taken as an insult to said perpetrator. Those are the times when the men who had just been so complimentary and concerned about my relationship status become raging idiots, hurling insults through the air at me. All of a sudden I’m an uppity, ugly, fat, nasty, trifling, Black bitch and/or hoe.
I simply cannot express the amount of anger that flashes through me when this happens. It is all I can do to not pick up the nearest rock and hurl it at their already broken-down hoopties, or inform them that they must have mistaken me for their mothers. Of course, I do not have the option of retaliating against them and defending my honor because I know that these situations can quickly turn violent. This means that I often find myself attempting to smile as pleasantly as possible while explaining that I have a boyfriend (which I don’t, and which doesn’t seem to affect many of the perpetrators). This also means that there are many times that I don’t feel safe in my own community, although I am not bothering anyone nor inviting attention with my behavior.
This would probably be the perfect place in the blog for a paragraph giving all the explanations for this type of behavior. I could try and trace it back slavery (which is Black folks way of blaming everything wrong with us on white folks), blame it on rap, etc, etc, etc. But I won’t, because those are excuses for poor behavior, and there are already plenty people who will defend this behavior and these perpetrators to the end.
Also, all the excuses in the world won’t cover up the one true factor in play here: most Black men DO NOT respect Black women. We ARE just body parts to them. They DON’T see us as people. They DO think that we have a duty to respond to them. They DO think the possession of a penis means that we should want them and that we are obligated to respond favorably to them. They DO think they have the right to know our names and phone numbers.
What makes this situation worse is that it persists ONLY because of Black women’s responses to it. I am convinced that if no women responded to this behavior, it would stop. However, there are many Black women who feel that nothing is wrong with this behavior. In fact, they are flattered by it! They are flattered by men beckoning them over to their cars as if they were common streetwalkers. They are flattered by men yelling out obscene comments about their bodies as if they were on an auction block. They will actually stop to talk to the guy who obviously has nothing better to do than stand on a street corner and harass every woman who catches his eye (and then be surprised when he turns out to be a complete deadbeat, in EVERY sense of the word). It never ceases to amaze me how women will give their phone numbers out to complete strangers after only minutes of trivial conversation.
I never thought it possible, but this behavior (along with a lot of Black males’ other behavioral traits) is really making me view the Black community differently. In fact, its making me question if the “Black community” even exists any longer, and if this is what it is, do I want to be a part of it? Do I want to be part of a community where even the women are taught not to respect the women in it? Do I want to be part of a community where the only intraracial crime that’s taken seriously is male-on-male variety? Do I want to be part of a community that only speaks up for me when a white man has spoken against me? Do I want to be part of a community 70% of the women in it won’t get married and this is seen as the women’s faults? Do I want to be part of a community that defends male criminals while tearing down their victims? Do I want to be part of THAT? (HINT: The harassment issue is not the only subject that has me disenchanted with the Black community right now.)
I suspect the answer will always be yes. But, catch me if/when I come back in a year after being away from the “African-American community.” We’ll see what I say then.
The problem is that of the harassment and verbal abuse I, and many other Black women have been the victim of at the hands (and mouths) of Black men. I know that, “harassment,” “verbal abuse,” and “victim,” seem like harsh terms to describe what many people deem as the normal interactions between Black men and women. However, I’m not interested in sugarcoating this shit.
I walked out of my house with my sister and before we could get to our block’s corner, a car-full of Black males had passed us leering and yelling, “ay girl,” among other things. As we walked back from our destination, a lone Black man trailed behind us making smacking noises that I guess were suppose to express his appreciation for what he saw. In between these two incidents, no less than three cars had passed holding Black men that stared at our bodies as if they were inspecting livestock.
Honestly, it is a rare occasion for me to step out of the house to go anywhere and return without at least one of these incidents occurring. Normally, while they are almost ALWAYS disrespectful, after the perpetrator sees that I am paying no attention to them and do not plan on acknowledging their presence or their words, they quietly move on. But then there are the times when my lack of interest is taken as an insult to said perpetrator. Those are the times when the men who had just been so complimentary and concerned about my relationship status become raging idiots, hurling insults through the air at me. All of a sudden I’m an uppity, ugly, fat, nasty, trifling, Black bitch and/or hoe.
I simply cannot express the amount of anger that flashes through me when this happens. It is all I can do to not pick up the nearest rock and hurl it at their already broken-down hoopties, or inform them that they must have mistaken me for their mothers. Of course, I do not have the option of retaliating against them and defending my honor because I know that these situations can quickly turn violent. This means that I often find myself attempting to smile as pleasantly as possible while explaining that I have a boyfriend (which I don’t, and which doesn’t seem to affect many of the perpetrators). This also means that there are many times that I don’t feel safe in my own community, although I am not bothering anyone nor inviting attention with my behavior.
This would probably be the perfect place in the blog for a paragraph giving all the explanations for this type of behavior. I could try and trace it back slavery (which is Black folks way of blaming everything wrong with us on white folks), blame it on rap, etc, etc, etc. But I won’t, because those are excuses for poor behavior, and there are already plenty people who will defend this behavior and these perpetrators to the end.
Also, all the excuses in the world won’t cover up the one true factor in play here: most Black men DO NOT respect Black women. We ARE just body parts to them. They DON’T see us as people. They DO think that we have a duty to respond to them. They DO think the possession of a penis means that we should want them and that we are obligated to respond favorably to them. They DO think they have the right to know our names and phone numbers.
What makes this situation worse is that it persists ONLY because of Black women’s responses to it. I am convinced that if no women responded to this behavior, it would stop. However, there are many Black women who feel that nothing is wrong with this behavior. In fact, they are flattered by it! They are flattered by men beckoning them over to their cars as if they were common streetwalkers. They are flattered by men yelling out obscene comments about their bodies as if they were on an auction block. They will actually stop to talk to the guy who obviously has nothing better to do than stand on a street corner and harass every woman who catches his eye (and then be surprised when he turns out to be a complete deadbeat, in EVERY sense of the word). It never ceases to amaze me how women will give their phone numbers out to complete strangers after only minutes of trivial conversation.
I never thought it possible, but this behavior (along with a lot of Black males’ other behavioral traits) is really making me view the Black community differently. In fact, its making me question if the “Black community” even exists any longer, and if this is what it is, do I want to be a part of it? Do I want to be part of a community where even the women are taught not to respect the women in it? Do I want to be part of a community where the only intraracial crime that’s taken seriously is male-on-male variety? Do I want to be part of a community that only speaks up for me when a white man has spoken against me? Do I want to be part of a community 70% of the women in it won’t get married and this is seen as the women’s faults? Do I want to be part of a community that defends male criminals while tearing down their victims? Do I want to be part of THAT? (HINT: The harassment issue is not the only subject that has me disenchanted with the Black community right now.)
I suspect the answer will always be yes. But, catch me if/when I come back in a year after being away from the “African-American community.” We’ll see what I say then.
Friday, June 27, 2008
Our Silence Will Never Protect Us
Originally posted on Sunday, May 18, 2008
Our Silence Will Never Protect Us.
Current mood: irritated
Category: News and Politics
"We were never meant to survive, so we might as well speak because our silence will never protect us." –Audre Lorde
It's been my intent to get some things off of my chest for a while now, but I haven't been able to word them properly for some reason. Then, I realized that my inability to satisfyingly express my opinions was a byproduct of apprehension. What would people think about me if I wasn't 100% gung-ho about the first viable African-American candidate? Would they think that all of my support and love for my community was only talk?
What the hell was I on? Well, whatever it was, I'm on a program to get off of it, and speaking my truth is Step 1. I figure if Dr. Jeremiah Wright had the courage to speak up for himself in front of a country filled with naysayers, I should have enough gall to push my little opinions off of my chest. This isn't to say that I don't realize that Black people have actually implemented a schedule for when its permissible to speak truth to power. I've heard a myriad of criticisms thrown his way from people who believe what he says is founded in truth BUT don't believe that he should speak those truths, in the way that he speaks them, right now. They believe he should remain quiet because he is hurting a cause that is much larger than he. The cause of electing the first Black president. (I don't use the term "African-American" because the meaning that this term most commonly conjures does not apply to Barack Obama. Oh yes, I said it. And?) Allow me to take a page from Pastor Wright's book and tell it like I see it. I could preface this by saying that I'm not trying to bash Barack Obama, and give my sincere apologies to his supporters for bringing up common sense notions, but that's irrelevant. Whether I'm trying to create doubt about him as part of a subversive plot being carried out by secret rogue Republican agents, or whether I just like playing the devil's advocate, deal with it.
1. Barack Obama is NOT Jesus. I know that may come as a surprise to a lot of people, but I assure you, he is not the Christ. Although I can relate to the excitement people feel about someone they believe can change the world (i.e. Michael Jackson after I saw "Captain E.O."), I am beyond tired of hearing people talk about him like he's the fulfillment of Old Testament prophecies, because….
2. Politicians are almost never the agitators of real social change. Contrary to what people like Hillary Clinton believe, true change almost ALWAYS begins with THE PEOPLE, not the charged to "represent" them. (I'm referring to that dopey-ass comment she made about LBJ being responsible for the gains of the Civil Rights Movement.) Politicians are usually the ones who jump on board with some sort of legislation after the majority of people support one issue or another. This is fine because politicians are hired to aid in the realization of their constituents' beliefs, and let's not forget that…
3. Barack IS a politician. He's not a revolutionist, so put your berets and single black gloves away. It is his job, aim, and goal to make more people agree with, sympathize with, and vote for him than another candidate. And you can pretty much bet that this means…
4. Barack has lied. Let's just be real. It is not humanly possible to sit in the pews of Trinity for 20 years and not be aware of Pastor Wright's views on certain subjects, or exposed to how Pastor Wright expresses those views. In fact, in his book, Dreams From My Father, he quotes Pastor Wright as saying, "It is this world, a world where cruise ships throw away more food in a day than most residents of Port-au-Prince see in a year, where white folks' greed runs a world in need." So now it's clear that…
5. Barack will do and/or say what he needs to do and/or say to get elected. It doesn't necessarily have to be the truth. In fact, he will even clean up the honest sentiments of his own wife to make (white) people comfortable. Which leads me to believe that…
6. Barack likes to walk the line. I'll admit that walking the line is a part of the game of politics. So, when Barack was the first Black president of the Harvard Law Review and came to conservative members on the low with sympathizing sentiments about affirmative action, he was simply being a good politician. So, when he becomes the President of a majority Caucasian country, do you think he'll stop walking the line? I hardly think that's part of his Change agenda (although that would actually be a change). Again, I know his job is going to be to represent the interest of the majority of his constituents (did you hear that Pres. Bush???), so it's understandable. However, it probably means that…
7. Barack's administration will not be addressing issues of racism openly and honestly. Because neither Barack nor America seem prepared to do so. I know that also comes as a shock to many. Now, I'm not saying Barack is going to sabotage the Black community (although it wouldn't be hard since we've let our guards down so completely and easily), but I do know that Barack Obama did not bring up the topic of race until he was forced to. If this whole Pastor Wright brouhaha hadn't reared its ugly head, we would've never even had the pleasure of hearing about his racist ass grandma (which I supposed could've been a good thing). This makes me believe that he won't be proactive on the topics of race and racism and the adverse affects that they have on many Americans. And as a result…
8. This will have a detrimental effect on an open and honest discussion on race in this country. Remember, in undergrad, when a white student would say something ridiculously racist, and then go, "I'm not racist, my best friend is Black." This is because they think that having a Black friend (whom I'm damn sure is a figment of most of their imaginations) means that 1.) They can't be racist, 2.) They can really say some crazy shit now, 3.) Somebody Black is going to honestly give a damn about whether they have a Black friend or not!
Also, I went to hear Duke University sociologist, Eduardo Bonilla-Silva, speak in April and he had quite a few interesting things to say about Obama. Along the lines of my point, he said that a number of white students at his university and around the country use Obama's historic run to challenge his theories on colorblind racism ideology. According to him, many students have approached him with comments like, "well, when Obama wins, what are you gonna study then?" He said his reply has been, "When that happens, I'm going to study why a white person, who is perfectly content with living in an all-white neighborhood, going to an all-white school, attending an all-white church, and having all-white friends is so interested in voting for a Black man." Perhaps they don't know the answer to this enigma, but I do. They're interested in him for the same reason they're interested in (telling us about) that ONE Black friend…it makes them look good. Better yet, it makes them feel good. It gives them the belief that they're not racist. In fact, it makes them believe that they can't be racist. And it also makes them super-apathetic.
He also talked about how he thought that Obama would do more to hurt the discussion on race than help it. As a result of all of Obama's (ridiculous) talk of there being no separate segments of America, white people are given the permission to believe this is actually true. This totally relieves them of any responsibility that they should take for the fact that there are separate and unequal Americas. (Ya'll know that a lot of white people like to take what one Black person says and use it to their advantage. So, if Barack says, "there's no white or Black America", they're hungry to use that to their advantage. Obviously neither they or Barack are aware, or will admit, that there are separate Americas. For instance, one group in America has an extremely high infant mortality rate amongst its women. In fact, this group's highly educated women have more problems with infant mortality and disorders than white women who've dropped out of high school. That group would be Black women. No separate Americas my pinky toe.)
And let's not forget the wonderful Cosby syndrome. This is when white people, who don't regularly come in contact with Black people, think that if one Black person has done extremely well, that all Black people have the same opportunities and should be able to do the same. If you don't combat that kind of thinking, it will work against you. And since there will always be something there to work against us…
9. A Black president does not signal the end or beginning of anything. It means that enough people in this country liked ONE Black man enough to put him in a white house (whoopee). White people have liked certain Black people for the duration of our stay in this country. Obviously, this has meant little to nothing for the majority of the Black community, especially since…
10. Barack is biracial. Oh, I know I done pissed some folks off now! Let me explain why I think this is important to note. While the fact that Obama's white mother might not mean much to Black folks (Hey, did that cab go right past you? You're Black enough.), please don't think this fact is lost on many white Americans. Don't think that they are not aware of the fact that Barack Obama was not raised in an African-American ("African-American" in this context meaning descendants of Africans who were enslaved here) community or that his "Black"ness is not derived from an African-American. Most importantly, don't think they've forgotten that ole Barry has a white mama.
I've read many quotes from his supporters where things like, "he doesn't have the stigma of the Civil Rights Movement attached to him," have been said. (Does it scare anyone else to think that the CRM has become a "stigma" that candidates are lauded for being able to shake off?) So, it shouldn't come as much of a surprise to anyone that the first viable Black candidate for the presidency is half-white. Although he's a negro on the outside, rest assured many of them take comfort in knowing that at least his mama was white. Their acceptance of him isn't an indicator of a mass change of opinions about African-Americans in general. But regardless of how white people feel about him or us…
11. Black people must stop pining for White America's approval. First of all, they need to be kissing OUR asses. WE have not wronged them and they still have not paid US. Secondly, this yearning to assimilate into "mainstream America" has not helped our community much. Although it's obvious that the evil systems of overt discrimination and segregation had to meet their demises, has anyone other than my mama noticed that the Black community was in better shape, in terms of how we treated EACH OTHER, when we were forced to be outcasts? I'm in no way, shape, or form promoting state-mandated segregation and discrimination, but I am asking people to consider that the closer Black people get to this fabled "American Dream," the further we drift from each other. Perhaps as a result of this, we don't have enough "big mamas" to remind us that…
12. "Change" don't pay the bills. Unless your bill is 50 cents and the light company now takes penny payments. It does not put food on your table, or gas in your car, or troops on a vehicle back home. It does not prevent foreclosure, provide you with health insurance, or get guns off of the street. The only thing the word "change" does is sound good. It's a damn shame that Elizabeth Edwards had to be the person who prompted McCain and his people to revisit their stance on universal health care. Perhaps if Barack and Hillary could stop talking about themselves and each other for just a few minutes, they could address some REAL issues. (And don't tell me to look on his website like that should be his primary method of disseminating information.) Just like people rode John Kerry for not having a concrete plan on issues like Iraq four years ago, I'm riding Barack AND Hillary for not having any now. I get excited when I SEE change, not when I hear that someone says they're going to be about change (especially when I have no idea what kind of "change" they're referring to). Although I'm not denying that…
13. Barack does have enough experience to be President. Obviously it doesn't take much experience, or intellect, to be the "Leader of the Free World," as demonstrated by Mr. Bush. And…
14. Michelle is THAT BUSINESS. I think she should run. Although I criticized the 'Cosby Syndrome' before, I can admit that I think it would be fresh to have a Black woman that intelligent, accomplished, classy, and dope occupying the office of President of the United States. But she probably wouldn't consider the illusionary game of politics that seriously because she seems like the type to realize that…
15. There is NEVER a wrong time to talk about justice/injustice. And that's simply that. The idea that Pastor Wright should stop reminding us of America's dirty little secrets until November is not only foolish, but cruel. There are people, who are being hurt everyday by this country's vicious, selfish, and discriminatory policies, and I'm sure that they are grateful for those who don't allow political timelines to mandate when they speak the truth.
While I'm aware that many people seem to think Barack Obama has done (or is doing) so much for the Black community right now (yeah...ok), Dr. Wright has been serving our community for almost 40 years with a passion unrivaled by anyone I've ever seen. To even suggest that he allow his name to be dragged through the mud so that white people can feel more secure in voting for Obama is ridiculous. If Barack, and others, want their life's work to consist of convincing white people to finally give Black people the respect we deserve as human beings, go ahead. However, don't expect everyone else to want to take up that cause. Some of us have much more important issues to think about, and fight for.
Finally, a couple of quotes from Audre Lorde…
"If I didn't define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other people's fantasies for me and eaten alive."
"The energies I gain from my work help me neutralize those implanted forces of negativity and self-destructiveness that is White America's way of making sure I keep whatever is powerful and creative within me unavailable, ineffective, and non-threatening."
"The master's tools will never dismantle the master's house."
"I have come to believe over and over again that what is most important to me must be spoken, made verbal and shared, even at the risk of having it bruised or misunderstood. That the speaking profits me, beyond any other effect."
Our Silence Will Never Protect Us.
Current mood: irritated
Category: News and Politics
"We were never meant to survive, so we might as well speak because our silence will never protect us." –Audre Lorde
It's been my intent to get some things off of my chest for a while now, but I haven't been able to word them properly for some reason. Then, I realized that my inability to satisfyingly express my opinions was a byproduct of apprehension. What would people think about me if I wasn't 100% gung-ho about the first viable African-American candidate? Would they think that all of my support and love for my community was only talk?
What the hell was I on? Well, whatever it was, I'm on a program to get off of it, and speaking my truth is Step 1. I figure if Dr. Jeremiah Wright had the courage to speak up for himself in front of a country filled with naysayers, I should have enough gall to push my little opinions off of my chest. This isn't to say that I don't realize that Black people have actually implemented a schedule for when its permissible to speak truth to power. I've heard a myriad of criticisms thrown his way from people who believe what he says is founded in truth BUT don't believe that he should speak those truths, in the way that he speaks them, right now. They believe he should remain quiet because he is hurting a cause that is much larger than he. The cause of electing the first Black president. (I don't use the term "African-American" because the meaning that this term most commonly conjures does not apply to Barack Obama. Oh yes, I said it. And?) Allow me to take a page from Pastor Wright's book and tell it like I see it. I could preface this by saying that I'm not trying to bash Barack Obama, and give my sincere apologies to his supporters for bringing up common sense notions, but that's irrelevant. Whether I'm trying to create doubt about him as part of a subversive plot being carried out by secret rogue Republican agents, or whether I just like playing the devil's advocate, deal with it.
1. Barack Obama is NOT Jesus. I know that may come as a surprise to a lot of people, but I assure you, he is not the Christ. Although I can relate to the excitement people feel about someone they believe can change the world (i.e. Michael Jackson after I saw "Captain E.O."), I am beyond tired of hearing people talk about him like he's the fulfillment of Old Testament prophecies, because….
2. Politicians are almost never the agitators of real social change. Contrary to what people like Hillary Clinton believe, true change almost ALWAYS begins with THE PEOPLE, not the charged to "represent" them. (I'm referring to that dopey-ass comment she made about LBJ being responsible for the gains of the Civil Rights Movement.) Politicians are usually the ones who jump on board with some sort of legislation after the majority of people support one issue or another. This is fine because politicians are hired to aid in the realization of their constituents' beliefs, and let's not forget that…
3. Barack IS a politician. He's not a revolutionist, so put your berets and single black gloves away. It is his job, aim, and goal to make more people agree with, sympathize with, and vote for him than another candidate. And you can pretty much bet that this means…
4. Barack has lied. Let's just be real. It is not humanly possible to sit in the pews of Trinity for 20 years and not be aware of Pastor Wright's views on certain subjects, or exposed to how Pastor Wright expresses those views. In fact, in his book, Dreams From My Father, he quotes Pastor Wright as saying, "It is this world, a world where cruise ships throw away more food in a day than most residents of Port-au-Prince see in a year, where white folks' greed runs a world in need." So now it's clear that…
5. Barack will do and/or say what he needs to do and/or say to get elected. It doesn't necessarily have to be the truth. In fact, he will even clean up the honest sentiments of his own wife to make (white) people comfortable. Which leads me to believe that…
6. Barack likes to walk the line. I'll admit that walking the line is a part of the game of politics. So, when Barack was the first Black president of the Harvard Law Review and came to conservative members on the low with sympathizing sentiments about affirmative action, he was simply being a good politician. So, when he becomes the President of a majority Caucasian country, do you think he'll stop walking the line? I hardly think that's part of his Change agenda (although that would actually be a change). Again, I know his job is going to be to represent the interest of the majority of his constituents (did you hear that Pres. Bush???), so it's understandable. However, it probably means that…
7. Barack's administration will not be addressing issues of racism openly and honestly. Because neither Barack nor America seem prepared to do so. I know that also comes as a shock to many. Now, I'm not saying Barack is going to sabotage the Black community (although it wouldn't be hard since we've let our guards down so completely and easily), but I do know that Barack Obama did not bring up the topic of race until he was forced to. If this whole Pastor Wright brouhaha hadn't reared its ugly head, we would've never even had the pleasure of hearing about his racist ass grandma (which I supposed could've been a good thing). This makes me believe that he won't be proactive on the topics of race and racism and the adverse affects that they have on many Americans. And as a result…
8. This will have a detrimental effect on an open and honest discussion on race in this country. Remember, in undergrad, when a white student would say something ridiculously racist, and then go, "I'm not racist, my best friend is Black." This is because they think that having a Black friend (whom I'm damn sure is a figment of most of their imaginations) means that 1.) They can't be racist, 2.) They can really say some crazy shit now, 3.) Somebody Black is going to honestly give a damn about whether they have a Black friend or not!
Also, I went to hear Duke University sociologist, Eduardo Bonilla-Silva, speak in April and he had quite a few interesting things to say about Obama. Along the lines of my point, he said that a number of white students at his university and around the country use Obama's historic run to challenge his theories on colorblind racism ideology. According to him, many students have approached him with comments like, "well, when Obama wins, what are you gonna study then?" He said his reply has been, "When that happens, I'm going to study why a white person, who is perfectly content with living in an all-white neighborhood, going to an all-white school, attending an all-white church, and having all-white friends is so interested in voting for a Black man." Perhaps they don't know the answer to this enigma, but I do. They're interested in him for the same reason they're interested in (telling us about) that ONE Black friend…it makes them look good. Better yet, it makes them feel good. It gives them the belief that they're not racist. In fact, it makes them believe that they can't be racist. And it also makes them super-apathetic.
He also talked about how he thought that Obama would do more to hurt the discussion on race than help it. As a result of all of Obama's (ridiculous) talk of there being no separate segments of America, white people are given the permission to believe this is actually true. This totally relieves them of any responsibility that they should take for the fact that there are separate and unequal Americas. (Ya'll know that a lot of white people like to take what one Black person says and use it to their advantage. So, if Barack says, "there's no white or Black America", they're hungry to use that to their advantage. Obviously neither they or Barack are aware, or will admit, that there are separate Americas. For instance, one group in America has an extremely high infant mortality rate amongst its women. In fact, this group's highly educated women have more problems with infant mortality and disorders than white women who've dropped out of high school. That group would be Black women. No separate Americas my pinky toe.)
And let's not forget the wonderful Cosby syndrome. This is when white people, who don't regularly come in contact with Black people, think that if one Black person has done extremely well, that all Black people have the same opportunities and should be able to do the same. If you don't combat that kind of thinking, it will work against you. And since there will always be something there to work against us…
9. A Black president does not signal the end or beginning of anything. It means that enough people in this country liked ONE Black man enough to put him in a white house (whoopee). White people have liked certain Black people for the duration of our stay in this country. Obviously, this has meant little to nothing for the majority of the Black community, especially since…
10. Barack is biracial. Oh, I know I done pissed some folks off now! Let me explain why I think this is important to note. While the fact that Obama's white mother might not mean much to Black folks (Hey, did that cab go right past you? You're Black enough.), please don't think this fact is lost on many white Americans. Don't think that they are not aware of the fact that Barack Obama was not raised in an African-American ("African-American" in this context meaning descendants of Africans who were enslaved here) community or that his "Black"ness is not derived from an African-American. Most importantly, don't think they've forgotten that ole Barry has a white mama.
I've read many quotes from his supporters where things like, "he doesn't have the stigma of the Civil Rights Movement attached to him," have been said. (Does it scare anyone else to think that the CRM has become a "stigma" that candidates are lauded for being able to shake off?) So, it shouldn't come as much of a surprise to anyone that the first viable Black candidate for the presidency is half-white. Although he's a negro on the outside, rest assured many of them take comfort in knowing that at least his mama was white. Their acceptance of him isn't an indicator of a mass change of opinions about African-Americans in general. But regardless of how white people feel about him or us…
11. Black people must stop pining for White America's approval. First of all, they need to be kissing OUR asses. WE have not wronged them and they still have not paid US. Secondly, this yearning to assimilate into "mainstream America" has not helped our community much. Although it's obvious that the evil systems of overt discrimination and segregation had to meet their demises, has anyone other than my mama noticed that the Black community was in better shape, in terms of how we treated EACH OTHER, when we were forced to be outcasts? I'm in no way, shape, or form promoting state-mandated segregation and discrimination, but I am asking people to consider that the closer Black people get to this fabled "American Dream," the further we drift from each other. Perhaps as a result of this, we don't have enough "big mamas" to remind us that…
12. "Change" don't pay the bills. Unless your bill is 50 cents and the light company now takes penny payments. It does not put food on your table, or gas in your car, or troops on a vehicle back home. It does not prevent foreclosure, provide you with health insurance, or get guns off of the street. The only thing the word "change" does is sound good. It's a damn shame that Elizabeth Edwards had to be the person who prompted McCain and his people to revisit their stance on universal health care. Perhaps if Barack and Hillary could stop talking about themselves and each other for just a few minutes, they could address some REAL issues. (And don't tell me to look on his website like that should be his primary method of disseminating information.) Just like people rode John Kerry for not having a concrete plan on issues like Iraq four years ago, I'm riding Barack AND Hillary for not having any now. I get excited when I SEE change, not when I hear that someone says they're going to be about change (especially when I have no idea what kind of "change" they're referring to). Although I'm not denying that…
13. Barack does have enough experience to be President. Obviously it doesn't take much experience, or intellect, to be the "Leader of the Free World," as demonstrated by Mr. Bush. And…
14. Michelle is THAT BUSINESS. I think she should run. Although I criticized the 'Cosby Syndrome' before, I can admit that I think it would be fresh to have a Black woman that intelligent, accomplished, classy, and dope occupying the office of President of the United States. But she probably wouldn't consider the illusionary game of politics that seriously because she seems like the type to realize that…
15. There is NEVER a wrong time to talk about justice/injustice. And that's simply that. The idea that Pastor Wright should stop reminding us of America's dirty little secrets until November is not only foolish, but cruel. There are people, who are being hurt everyday by this country's vicious, selfish, and discriminatory policies, and I'm sure that they are grateful for those who don't allow political timelines to mandate when they speak the truth.
While I'm aware that many people seem to think Barack Obama has done (or is doing) so much for the Black community right now (yeah...ok), Dr. Wright has been serving our community for almost 40 years with a passion unrivaled by anyone I've ever seen. To even suggest that he allow his name to be dragged through the mud so that white people can feel more secure in voting for Obama is ridiculous. If Barack, and others, want their life's work to consist of convincing white people to finally give Black people the respect we deserve as human beings, go ahead. However, don't expect everyone else to want to take up that cause. Some of us have much more important issues to think about, and fight for.
Finally, a couple of quotes from Audre Lorde…
"If I didn't define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other people's fantasies for me and eaten alive."
"The energies I gain from my work help me neutralize those implanted forces of negativity and self-destructiveness that is White America's way of making sure I keep whatever is powerful and creative within me unavailable, ineffective, and non-threatening."
"The master's tools will never dismantle the master's house."
"I have come to believe over and over again that what is most important to me must be spoken, made verbal and shared, even at the risk of having it bruised or misunderstood. That the speaking profits me, beyond any other effect."
B-Rock, Hills, and Race & Gender In America...From a Frustrated and Vigilant Voter
Originally posted on Thursday, February 14, 2008
B-Rock, Hills, and Race & Gender in America...from a frustrated and vigilant voter.
Current mood: frustrated
Category: News and Politics
Election fever has hit the U.S. something terrible and I'm laying right up in the midst of it. Being from Chicago (which is really the "hometown" of both Barack and Hillary), the coverage is intense and constant. It's pretty much all you hear about and I'm so damn sick of it, I could vomit.
The whole movement surrounding Barack is off-putting to me. Why? Because I'm a realist. Always have been, maybe always will be. This whole "revolution" to elect a President based on the fact that he's different, new, and fresh is kind of stale to me. I mean, we had it with Bobby Kennedy, but that man had some REAL experience with the federal government and foreign affairs. He wasn't a charismatic upstarter who seemed to be the fabled oasis in the middle of a desert.
I respect Barack, no diggity-doubt. Back in 2004 (and even before then), I was supporting Barack by going to god-forsaken, tiny towns in Central and Southern IL where no Black person had been since they were running for freedom with Harriet. And I was riding to these places from Springfield, IL with a tall, lanky, beatnik lookin white dude who would drive and not say a word for HOURS. (And stopping at gas stations where I was too scared to stay in the car by myself but too scared to go into the station where the white people looked like they still called Black people "colored" and "negras.") AND getting up at the crack of dawn on Saturday mornings during the fall semester to go down to these little Corn Fairs that these towns had.
But I did it because I supported Barack. I thought he had some good experience in the IL State Senate and I highly respected his work in Chicago. (The fact that we attend the same Afrocentric, liberal, community-based church in Chicago doesnt' hurt either.) When he was elected into U.S. States Senate, I was very happy (in spite of that son of a Bush being elected the same day).
But hold up, wait a minute. President? For real Barack? Ok, to each his own. And I guess I'm supposed to vote for him because I'm Black? Don't say it! Don't dare say that you'd never assume or support that kind of decision. You know you do. You know you secretly question a Black person who wouldn't vote for the first Black candidate who has a real shot for the presidency.
Well, as for the "you're a liberal Black person" assumption that people make about me, fuggedaboudit. Yes, I'm Black, and so is Barack. But, in the words of Dave Chappelle "so the f*ck what?" While I am usually the person who always roots for the Black people to win on Wheel of Fortune or Jeopardy, and sighs in relief when she hears the latest shooting spree wasn't committed by a Black person, I can't vote for a PRESIDENT based on that! Especially not now. After Clinton Pts. I & II, perhaps. But right now, while we're in the sinking sand of a ridiculous war based on lies, revenge and oil money, while we're in economic decline, and while living with more and more poverty-and-media bred violence, I want someone who I can vote for because I really think that they know what they're doing. Not because they're Black.
And by the way, me being the Queen of Unpopular Opinions, let me just say that while Barack is obviously and identifiably Black (and I'm sure more than a view cabs have declined to pull over for his fare), I don't currently see him really identifying with Black people. If he wants to be president of a predominatly white country, obviously he can't be in Jena linking hands with Jesse and singing, "we shall overcome." White people do not like it when you bring up the Civil Rights Movement. It reminds them of how sh*tty they used to treat us and how we haven't come as far as we should because they keep blockin us.
But here's where I had to really look at Barack sideways...
When Barack made the announcement that he would seek the Democratic Party's nomination for the Presidential race, he did so in Springfield, IL. Home of Abraham Lincoln and the IL State Senate. Well, Barack is a member of the same church I attend, Trinity United Church of Christ on Chicago's Southside. Our pastor, the wonderful Rev. Jeremiah Wright Jr. is quite the Afrocentric-liberal-radical. He also believes heavily in the Black Value System, which basically says that Black people should learn to take care of each other once again, stop depending on handouts from the government, and still fight the racist systems in this country and anywhere in the world. (http://www.tucc.org/black_value_system.html)
Pretty simple.
Well, obviously, it ain't so simple. Ever since Barack placed his eye on the prize, our church, and especially our Pastor, have been under attack from all sectors of the Right and even some in the Left. They've called us racist for teaching OUR children OUR history and not asking for their permission or their input. They've said that our emphasis on the Black community is polarizing on the lines of race and that true Christianity doesn't do that. They've even called us anti-Semitic for speaking against the U.S.'s unwavering and unquestioning support of Israel despite several human rights violation accusations. What they've failed, or refused, to recognize is that being a Black person in this race-conscious world is not a walk in the park, and that, to help ourselves in our Christian walk, we choose to stress principles from the Bible that can assist us, as Black Christians. To them, if you ain't got a white Jesus statue above your Black preacher's pulpit, and your Black preacher doesn't bow down to the shrine of conservatism and faith-based initiatives, you're not really a Christian. You're not really observing Jesus' mandates of unity. It doesn't really matter to them that they've worked hard to use mutilate Christianity and Jesus' name in a manner meant to oppress us!
Anyhoo, back to the story. Barack UNINVITES my pastor from his announcement! Why? Because advisors in his camp felt that my pastor was too controversial and Barack didn't need that. Simply put, your pastor scares the white people...and we can't do that, now can we?
But even that slight is not enough for me to decide on whether I will or won't support him.
In 2008, after having the most violent, ignorant, uncompassionate, pathetic buffoon of a resident (not president) in office for 8 years, I'm not just looking for a "change" or for "the audacity of hope," I'm looking for a PLAN.
On Facebook, I read a note written by a Black male friend of mine who is a Hillary supporter. It was urging John Edwards to endorse, and hopefully run with, Hillary. Another friend of mine, a staunch Barack supporter, shot him down with by stating how many states Obama had won and how many delegates he had, and was going to get, in his pocket. Most the commenters were like me; young, Black, college-educated, career-driven, politically aware, and socially conscious. (Hell, we probably all even bump the same music.) And they were all in support of Barack. A few even went so far as to make sly personal shots at the author of the note through sneakily dissing his "grammatical errors," chiding him for "begging," and even calling his beliefs "slave mentality at its zenith."
I found this disturbing. Slave mentality? Begging? C'mon now. Couldn't Barack be accused of the same for seeking out Edward's endorsement? (It could be looked at it like this...What Barack, you need a white man to help you with this? Why you all up in John's grill after Hillary hollered at him?)
Nobody would look at Barack seeking John's support in that light, so why would we look at a Hillary supporter sending a letter to John with such disdain? Because he's Black and he's supporting a white woman? Puhlease. I responded with by saying that I didn't think either candidate deserves John's endorsement until one of them starts to really talk about the issues vs. each other.
(i.e. "So, I don't think either one of them really DESERVES Edwards endorsement until I see some concrete proof that one of them is REALLY trying to be a good President, not Superstar. We got folks shooting up schools and malls left and right, but where's the gun control debate? We got people from New Orleans who haven't seen home in years, but where's the talk of the Gulf Coast renewal (Barack did a lil bit, I know)? We got extreme violence against women (look at Dunbar Village and Megan Williams…whom I've yet to hear Barack OR Hillary address in any REAL way) and children (all the Chicago Public School System children who were killed in ONE school year, 2006-2007) left and right, but where are the rape and child abuse voting records? And let's not talk about serious and clearly predominant plans about healthcare, the war, immigration, discrimination, etc.")
I don't have beef with Barack supporters. Hell, I am one myself. I support a Black man who has worked hard to get where he is despite of many obstacles. And Lord knows I support the idea of the fabulous Michelle Obama getting her hands on that White House and D.C. and showing the world how fabulous an incredibly intelligent, educated, beautiful, brown-skinned, woman, mother, and wife can work it!
I just don't think he's ready right now (because of a lack of experience and hook-ups...you must know the importance of a favor-owed, knowing where the bodies are hidden, and a hook-up in politics…this isn't going to change so don't go there), and I think he's been caught up in the hype of the elections more than the actual issues that this country is facing.
I'm not really impressed with Hillary either. Gosh darnit, as much as I'd like to support her because she's a woman (tee-hee-hee, that made me laugh too), that's not me. I'm not the feminist type. Especially if it's a white feminist. I don't feel that they've ever really cared about the plight of other women. I don't think they've done an extraordinary job of showing us that they care right now either. And as much as Bill makes my bell whistle and my liver quiver (hiya, Bill), that's a personal *wink, wink* sorta thing. Politically, Bill Clinton didn't help a lot of Black people much during his administration. The legislation he helped pass during this time in office did more to hurt us than help us...and let's not mention that his little stop in Harlem has driven up real estate prices even more in an already gentrifying community on the brink of losing a lot of its Black population...and history.
If this is the experience that she is laying claim to, I don't want it anymore than I want Barack's lack of experience. I realize that she's been in Senate longer, and that does give her the slight upper-hand. But let's be real, would she be here if she weren't Bill's gal? No.
Would Barack be here if he were a Black woman? No.
Carol Moseley-Braun, with all of her experience wouldn't be able to keep up with either candidate. True, she lacks the charismatic and charming ways of Barack, and the already-existent fan base of Hillary, but she was/is a smart woman. Would we take her as seriously as we're taking Barack and Hillary? Did we?
Hell-to-the-no.
Which tells me that our country hasn't come that far at all. We've still got a lot of hang-ups. If you're Black and male, just maybe. If you're white and female, perhaps. If you're Black AND female, whatchutalkinboutwillis? So are we truly ready for a Black or female president? Right now? Hope isn't real or sustainable without a SOLID plan, and I've YET to see that from Barack. Experience means little if your experience was gained riding the coattails of another.
I dunno. All I know is that if I, like many other Americans, don't want to see another Republican in office. I'm sorry, but you all have had your turn and you didn't do a good job (and that's putting it so lightly and politely). Fall back. If it comes down to Barack or Hillary, I'm voting for them. But, will it be a choice that I truly support or one that I was forced to make? And if I am forced to make that choice, can it please not be based on my melanin levels or sexual organs?
B-Rock, Hills, and Race & Gender in America...from a frustrated and vigilant voter.
Current mood: frustrated
Category: News and Politics
Election fever has hit the U.S. something terrible and I'm laying right up in the midst of it. Being from Chicago (which is really the "hometown" of both Barack and Hillary), the coverage is intense and constant. It's pretty much all you hear about and I'm so damn sick of it, I could vomit.
The whole movement surrounding Barack is off-putting to me. Why? Because I'm a realist. Always have been, maybe always will be. This whole "revolution" to elect a President based on the fact that he's different, new, and fresh is kind of stale to me. I mean, we had it with Bobby Kennedy, but that man had some REAL experience with the federal government and foreign affairs. He wasn't a charismatic upstarter who seemed to be the fabled oasis in the middle of a desert.
I respect Barack, no diggity-doubt. Back in 2004 (and even before then), I was supporting Barack by going to god-forsaken, tiny towns in Central and Southern IL where no Black person had been since they were running for freedom with Harriet. And I was riding to these places from Springfield, IL with a tall, lanky, beatnik lookin white dude who would drive and not say a word for HOURS. (And stopping at gas stations where I was too scared to stay in the car by myself but too scared to go into the station where the white people looked like they still called Black people "colored" and "negras.") AND getting up at the crack of dawn on Saturday mornings during the fall semester to go down to these little Corn Fairs that these towns had.
But I did it because I supported Barack. I thought he had some good experience in the IL State Senate and I highly respected his work in Chicago. (The fact that we attend the same Afrocentric, liberal, community-based church in Chicago doesnt' hurt either.) When he was elected into U.S. States Senate, I was very happy (in spite of that son of a Bush being elected the same day).
But hold up, wait a minute. President? For real Barack? Ok, to each his own. And I guess I'm supposed to vote for him because I'm Black? Don't say it! Don't dare say that you'd never assume or support that kind of decision. You know you do. You know you secretly question a Black person who wouldn't vote for the first Black candidate who has a real shot for the presidency.
Well, as for the "you're a liberal Black person" assumption that people make about me, fuggedaboudit. Yes, I'm Black, and so is Barack. But, in the words of Dave Chappelle "so the f*ck what?" While I am usually the person who always roots for the Black people to win on Wheel of Fortune or Jeopardy, and sighs in relief when she hears the latest shooting spree wasn't committed by a Black person, I can't vote for a PRESIDENT based on that! Especially not now. After Clinton Pts. I & II, perhaps. But right now, while we're in the sinking sand of a ridiculous war based on lies, revenge and oil money, while we're in economic decline, and while living with more and more poverty-and-media bred violence, I want someone who I can vote for because I really think that they know what they're doing. Not because they're Black.
And by the way, me being the Queen of Unpopular Opinions, let me just say that while Barack is obviously and identifiably Black (and I'm sure more than a view cabs have declined to pull over for his fare), I don't currently see him really identifying with Black people. If he wants to be president of a predominatly white country, obviously he can't be in Jena linking hands with Jesse and singing, "we shall overcome." White people do not like it when you bring up the Civil Rights Movement. It reminds them of how sh*tty they used to treat us and how we haven't come as far as we should because they keep blockin us.
But here's where I had to really look at Barack sideways...
When Barack made the announcement that he would seek the Democratic Party's nomination for the Presidential race, he did so in Springfield, IL. Home of Abraham Lincoln and the IL State Senate. Well, Barack is a member of the same church I attend, Trinity United Church of Christ on Chicago's Southside. Our pastor, the wonderful Rev. Jeremiah Wright Jr. is quite the Afrocentric-liberal-radical. He also believes heavily in the Black Value System, which basically says that Black people should learn to take care of each other once again, stop depending on handouts from the government, and still fight the racist systems in this country and anywhere in the world. (http://www.tucc.org/black_value_system.html)
Pretty simple.
Well, obviously, it ain't so simple. Ever since Barack placed his eye on the prize, our church, and especially our Pastor, have been under attack from all sectors of the Right and even some in the Left. They've called us racist for teaching OUR children OUR history and not asking for their permission or their input. They've said that our emphasis on the Black community is polarizing on the lines of race and that true Christianity doesn't do that. They've even called us anti-Semitic for speaking against the U.S.'s unwavering and unquestioning support of Israel despite several human rights violation accusations. What they've failed, or refused, to recognize is that being a Black person in this race-conscious world is not a walk in the park, and that, to help ourselves in our Christian walk, we choose to stress principles from the Bible that can assist us, as Black Christians. To them, if you ain't got a white Jesus statue above your Black preacher's pulpit, and your Black preacher doesn't bow down to the shrine of conservatism and faith-based initiatives, you're not really a Christian. You're not really observing Jesus' mandates of unity. It doesn't really matter to them that they've worked hard to use mutilate Christianity and Jesus' name in a manner meant to oppress us!
Anyhoo, back to the story. Barack UNINVITES my pastor from his announcement! Why? Because advisors in his camp felt that my pastor was too controversial and Barack didn't need that. Simply put, your pastor scares the white people...and we can't do that, now can we?
But even that slight is not enough for me to decide on whether I will or won't support him.
In 2008, after having the most violent, ignorant, uncompassionate, pathetic buffoon of a resident (not president) in office for 8 years, I'm not just looking for a "change" or for "the audacity of hope," I'm looking for a PLAN.
On Facebook, I read a note written by a Black male friend of mine who is a Hillary supporter. It was urging John Edwards to endorse, and hopefully run with, Hillary. Another friend of mine, a staunch Barack supporter, shot him down with by stating how many states Obama had won and how many delegates he had, and was going to get, in his pocket. Most the commenters were like me; young, Black, college-educated, career-driven, politically aware, and socially conscious. (Hell, we probably all even bump the same music.) And they were all in support of Barack. A few even went so far as to make sly personal shots at the author of the note through sneakily dissing his "grammatical errors," chiding him for "begging," and even calling his beliefs "slave mentality at its zenith."
I found this disturbing. Slave mentality? Begging? C'mon now. Couldn't Barack be accused of the same for seeking out Edward's endorsement? (It could be looked at it like this...What Barack, you need a white man to help you with this? Why you all up in John's grill after Hillary hollered at him?)
Nobody would look at Barack seeking John's support in that light, so why would we look at a Hillary supporter sending a letter to John with such disdain? Because he's Black and he's supporting a white woman? Puhlease. I responded with by saying that I didn't think either candidate deserves John's endorsement until one of them starts to really talk about the issues vs. each other.
(i.e. "So, I don't think either one of them really DESERVES Edwards endorsement until I see some concrete proof that one of them is REALLY trying to be a good President, not Superstar. We got folks shooting up schools and malls left and right, but where's the gun control debate? We got people from New Orleans who haven't seen home in years, but where's the talk of the Gulf Coast renewal (Barack did a lil bit, I know)? We got extreme violence against women (look at Dunbar Village and Megan Williams…whom I've yet to hear Barack OR Hillary address in any REAL way) and children (all the Chicago Public School System children who were killed in ONE school year, 2006-2007) left and right, but where are the rape and child abuse voting records? And let's not talk about serious and clearly predominant plans about healthcare, the war, immigration, discrimination, etc.")
I don't have beef with Barack supporters. Hell, I am one myself. I support a Black man who has worked hard to get where he is despite of many obstacles. And Lord knows I support the idea of the fabulous Michelle Obama getting her hands on that White House and D.C. and showing the world how fabulous an incredibly intelligent, educated, beautiful, brown-skinned, woman, mother, and wife can work it!
I just don't think he's ready right now (because of a lack of experience and hook-ups...you must know the importance of a favor-owed, knowing where the bodies are hidden, and a hook-up in politics…this isn't going to change so don't go there), and I think he's been caught up in the hype of the elections more than the actual issues that this country is facing.
I'm not really impressed with Hillary either. Gosh darnit, as much as I'd like to support her because she's a woman (tee-hee-hee, that made me laugh too), that's not me. I'm not the feminist type. Especially if it's a white feminist. I don't feel that they've ever really cared about the plight of other women. I don't think they've done an extraordinary job of showing us that they care right now either. And as much as Bill makes my bell whistle and my liver quiver (hiya, Bill), that's a personal *wink, wink* sorta thing. Politically, Bill Clinton didn't help a lot of Black people much during his administration. The legislation he helped pass during this time in office did more to hurt us than help us...and let's not mention that his little stop in Harlem has driven up real estate prices even more in an already gentrifying community on the brink of losing a lot of its Black population...and history.
If this is the experience that she is laying claim to, I don't want it anymore than I want Barack's lack of experience. I realize that she's been in Senate longer, and that does give her the slight upper-hand. But let's be real, would she be here if she weren't Bill's gal? No.
Would Barack be here if he were a Black woman? No.
Carol Moseley-Braun, with all of her experience wouldn't be able to keep up with either candidate. True, she lacks the charismatic and charming ways of Barack, and the already-existent fan base of Hillary, but she was/is a smart woman. Would we take her as seriously as we're taking Barack and Hillary? Did we?
Hell-to-the-no.
Which tells me that our country hasn't come that far at all. We've still got a lot of hang-ups. If you're Black and male, just maybe. If you're white and female, perhaps. If you're Black AND female, whatchutalkinboutwillis? So are we truly ready for a Black or female president? Right now? Hope isn't real or sustainable without a SOLID plan, and I've YET to see that from Barack. Experience means little if your experience was gained riding the coattails of another.
I dunno. All I know is that if I, like many other Americans, don't want to see another Republican in office. I'm sorry, but you all have had your turn and you didn't do a good job (and that's putting it so lightly and politely). Fall back. If it comes down to Barack or Hillary, I'm voting for them. But, will it be a choice that I truly support or one that I was forced to make? And if I am forced to make that choice, can it please not be based on my melanin levels or sexual organs?
The Crisis of the Black Female
Originally posted on Friday, October 26, 2007
The Crisis of the Black Female
Current mood: crushed
Black men are in trouble. If we look at Chicago, a microcosm of the Black male population of America, we can easily see the problems that Black males are encountering are real and destructive. Between 1995 and 2005, 38% of black males in Chicago graduated from high school. 1 in 50 black males who were high school freshmen in 2006 will graduate from high school. Chicago's high school dropout rate for African American males is 70%. In 1999, 52% of African American males who dropped out of high school had prison records by their early 30s. For every white college-aged male in prison, there are 28 in college; for African American men, that ratio drops to less than 1 in 3. 45% of African American men between the ages of 20 and 24 are unemployed. Only 18% of African American men in Chicago have a college degree.
Yes, there is a problem and it is serious.
But I'm pissed. And not at the problem or the "victims" of the problem, per se. I'm pissed about the fact that nobody is talking about the other crisis in the Black community; the crisis of the Black female.
I was in church a couple of months back, and my pastor (a well-educated, Afrocentric, leftist, justice-centered man) was speaking about giving a commencement address at a historically Black university. With pain in his voice, he talked about how the school had once been predominantly filled with Black men, and now Black women outnumbered them 5 to 1. The point of his statement was to shed light on how Black men are obviously not enjoying the fruits of the Civil Rights Movement, when it comes to education. And I felt him on that point.
But I was pissed.
Instead of celebrating the fact that Black women, once shut out from these institutions by racism AND sexism, were now entering these schools at wonderfully high rates, he bemoaned the fact that Black men were not.
Why can't we be celebrated?
Because we're too busy being degraded.
I need not go into the whole hullabaloo of Black women's abuse in the media or in our communities. Surely, we all know the sad truths of these situations. Jezebels and video hoes dominate the stations on radio and television. Even my favorite contemporary female performer, Beyonce, is an oversexed representation of Black women (hell, she's an oversexed representation of herself; have you ever seen how painfully shy she is in interviews?). And Black women suffering at the hands of Black men in our communities continues to be a problem that needs constant addressing. Add to that the fact that we're Black and experience racism just like a Black man would, and you have a recipe for disaster.
And nobody seems to care.
Megan Williams was photographed coming from a courtroom only weeks after her brutal imprisonment at the hands of a group of racist white males and females (not men and women; these people were barely human). She was not photographed exiting the courtroom after testifying against her brutalizers. She was photographed leaving a courtroom after appearing in her own defense against minor crimes (mainly breeching terms of probation) that she was guilty of.
Instead of seeing this woman as the victim of a horrid deed, she was portrayed as a woman who, herself, was a criminal. And hell, who cares about what happens to criminals, right? Especially when the criminals are Black and those who criminalize them are white.
Where is Jesse? Where is Al? Where is Michael Baisden? NAACP? NUL? In Jena, of course. Defending a group of young Black men (who did need defending, but who were, yes they were, guilty of a crime). Megan is left to fend for her own against the white media who are much more interested in portraying her as a deserving victim, when portraying her at all. (Yes, I know Al has a pretty good reason to be scared to butt in on this one after Tawana, but still.) I mean, the NAACP is more interested in burying the word "nigger" than helping a woman who's had the world hurled at her while being sexually abused and physically assaulted.
Dunbar Village. I can't recount the details because they make me too sick to my stomach, so I will simply reiterate the questions that I've asked. Where is the Black leadership on this issue? A woman is raped in front of her son, made to perform sex acts on her son, and then threatened with death, and we get…nothing? Well, that's a double, "hell to da naw" for me. Not only was the victim a Black woman, her victimizers were Black men. And when it comes down to it, what's more important? Protecting Black women against sickos, or making sure that we don't put 5 or 6 more poor, poor, poor Black boys in jail?
I don't care about the white media covering Elizabeth more than Megan. They're white. That's exactly what I expect them to do. But do I have to come to the point where I can't care about Black male leadership not defending Black women because, they're men and that's what I expect them to do? Am I supposed to feel sorry for these assholes that did these things to this woman because of the color of their skin and the fact that "it's hard out there for Black men?"
Ring-a-fucking-ding-ding. It's hard for Black women too! Hell, I'd go as far to say that it may be harder. Because, guess what? Not only do we have racism alive and well, working against us in a very real and effective way, we have sexism working against us from every male and many females in AND out of our communities. I simply don't believe that it's any harder for a Black male to get his ass out of bed and go to school than it is for a female. A Black female can get hit with a stray bullet just like one of them. A Black female can get lured into a gang just like one of them. A Black female can get shot up by the police just like one of them. A Black female can get lured into a life of drugs, violence, and criminal behavior just like one of them. But nobody celebrates the fact that we are actually striving to succeed in the face of these obstacles. They simply weep over the fact that Black men aren't.
In addition to those hardships that Black females share with our men, we are subject to a number of totally different ones that rarely effect Black men. Like, being left alone to raise children and then being degraded because we're "baby mommas." Or earning less in the workforce because we're both Black AND female. Or what about the fact that teachers are less likely to expose female students to the sciences and math than they are male students which possibly sets them on a path to automatically make less money in their careers? Or what about the venomous myth that's embedded in Black women that we are to be "loyal" to the Black community no matter what, even when it is at the expense of our happiness (I'm sorry, but I have not seen the some indoctrination performed on Black men.) What about the fact that so many Black women remain perpetually single because of the crisis of Black males?
And it hurts that nobody seems to give a damn.
The freaking crisis of the Black female is that we face the same crisis as the Black male and everyone would like to act as if we don't. In fact, they'd like to act like we don't matter at all.
I am a member of the church Nailah Franklin attended, and her death saddened me. It also gave me hope. I, for the first time in my life, thought, "maybe, just maybe, if I go missing one day, someone will look for me. Someone, other than my family and friends will give a damn." But cases like Ms. Franklin's are few and far between.
I know there are some who are already pissed with me for writing this blog. Although their reasons might be voiced differently, it all boils down to, "how dare you speak against the Black male in public? How dare you not show the utmost and complete sorrow for the hardships he goes through? See, that's the f*cking problem with Black women. They always complain and they don't stand by their men." (Yeah, tell that shit to all those Black mothers raising Black boys ALONE.) I couldn't care less. Yeah, we might graduate from college more, but think about the affect that not seeing our men graduate with us has on us. Yeah, we might go to jail less, but think about the burden that not having our men free to help us improve our community places on us. And totally aside from anything to do with Black men (yes, Black women are able to operate and have issues that don't necessarily have to involve any man), think of the hardships we go through as human beings.
I'm not trying to beat up on Black men, as a whole. It's not their faults any more than it is ours, in many cases. I'm not trying to say that Black men don't have it hard all around the world. All I'm saying is that the same goes for Black women.
But I guess we truly don't matter.
The Crisis of the Black Female
Current mood: crushed
Black men are in trouble. If we look at Chicago, a microcosm of the Black male population of America, we can easily see the problems that Black males are encountering are real and destructive. Between 1995 and 2005, 38% of black males in Chicago graduated from high school. 1 in 50 black males who were high school freshmen in 2006 will graduate from high school. Chicago's high school dropout rate for African American males is 70%. In 1999, 52% of African American males who dropped out of high school had prison records by their early 30s. For every white college-aged male in prison, there are 28 in college; for African American men, that ratio drops to less than 1 in 3. 45% of African American men between the ages of 20 and 24 are unemployed. Only 18% of African American men in Chicago have a college degree.
Yes, there is a problem and it is serious.
But I'm pissed. And not at the problem or the "victims" of the problem, per se. I'm pissed about the fact that nobody is talking about the other crisis in the Black community; the crisis of the Black female.
I was in church a couple of months back, and my pastor (a well-educated, Afrocentric, leftist, justice-centered man) was speaking about giving a commencement address at a historically Black university. With pain in his voice, he talked about how the school had once been predominantly filled with Black men, and now Black women outnumbered them 5 to 1. The point of his statement was to shed light on how Black men are obviously not enjoying the fruits of the Civil Rights Movement, when it comes to education. And I felt him on that point.
But I was pissed.
Instead of celebrating the fact that Black women, once shut out from these institutions by racism AND sexism, were now entering these schools at wonderfully high rates, he bemoaned the fact that Black men were not.
Why can't we be celebrated?
Because we're too busy being degraded.
I need not go into the whole hullabaloo of Black women's abuse in the media or in our communities. Surely, we all know the sad truths of these situations. Jezebels and video hoes dominate the stations on radio and television. Even my favorite contemporary female performer, Beyonce, is an oversexed representation of Black women (hell, she's an oversexed representation of herself; have you ever seen how painfully shy she is in interviews?). And Black women suffering at the hands of Black men in our communities continues to be a problem that needs constant addressing. Add to that the fact that we're Black and experience racism just like a Black man would, and you have a recipe for disaster.
And nobody seems to care.
Megan Williams was photographed coming from a courtroom only weeks after her brutal imprisonment at the hands of a group of racist white males and females (not men and women; these people were barely human). She was not photographed exiting the courtroom after testifying against her brutalizers. She was photographed leaving a courtroom after appearing in her own defense against minor crimes (mainly breeching terms of probation) that she was guilty of.
Instead of seeing this woman as the victim of a horrid deed, she was portrayed as a woman who, herself, was a criminal. And hell, who cares about what happens to criminals, right? Especially when the criminals are Black and those who criminalize them are white.
Where is Jesse? Where is Al? Where is Michael Baisden? NAACP? NUL? In Jena, of course. Defending a group of young Black men (who did need defending, but who were, yes they were, guilty of a crime). Megan is left to fend for her own against the white media who are much more interested in portraying her as a deserving victim, when portraying her at all. (Yes, I know Al has a pretty good reason to be scared to butt in on this one after Tawana, but still.) I mean, the NAACP is more interested in burying the word "nigger" than helping a woman who's had the world hurled at her while being sexually abused and physically assaulted.
Dunbar Village. I can't recount the details because they make me too sick to my stomach, so I will simply reiterate the questions that I've asked. Where is the Black leadership on this issue? A woman is raped in front of her son, made to perform sex acts on her son, and then threatened with death, and we get…nothing? Well, that's a double, "hell to da naw" for me. Not only was the victim a Black woman, her victimizers were Black men. And when it comes down to it, what's more important? Protecting Black women against sickos, or making sure that we don't put 5 or 6 more poor, poor, poor Black boys in jail?
I don't care about the white media covering Elizabeth more than Megan. They're white. That's exactly what I expect them to do. But do I have to come to the point where I can't care about Black male leadership not defending Black women because, they're men and that's what I expect them to do? Am I supposed to feel sorry for these assholes that did these things to this woman because of the color of their skin and the fact that "it's hard out there for Black men?"
Ring-a-fucking-ding-ding. It's hard for Black women too! Hell, I'd go as far to say that it may be harder. Because, guess what? Not only do we have racism alive and well, working against us in a very real and effective way, we have sexism working against us from every male and many females in AND out of our communities. I simply don't believe that it's any harder for a Black male to get his ass out of bed and go to school than it is for a female. A Black female can get hit with a stray bullet just like one of them. A Black female can get lured into a gang just like one of them. A Black female can get shot up by the police just like one of them. A Black female can get lured into a life of drugs, violence, and criminal behavior just like one of them. But nobody celebrates the fact that we are actually striving to succeed in the face of these obstacles. They simply weep over the fact that Black men aren't.
In addition to those hardships that Black females share with our men, we are subject to a number of totally different ones that rarely effect Black men. Like, being left alone to raise children and then being degraded because we're "baby mommas." Or earning less in the workforce because we're both Black AND female. Or what about the fact that teachers are less likely to expose female students to the sciences and math than they are male students which possibly sets them on a path to automatically make less money in their careers? Or what about the venomous myth that's embedded in Black women that we are to be "loyal" to the Black community no matter what, even when it is at the expense of our happiness (I'm sorry, but I have not seen the some indoctrination performed on Black men.) What about the fact that so many Black women remain perpetually single because of the crisis of Black males?
And it hurts that nobody seems to give a damn.
The freaking crisis of the Black female is that we face the same crisis as the Black male and everyone would like to act as if we don't. In fact, they'd like to act like we don't matter at all.
I am a member of the church Nailah Franklin attended, and her death saddened me. It also gave me hope. I, for the first time in my life, thought, "maybe, just maybe, if I go missing one day, someone will look for me. Someone, other than my family and friends will give a damn." But cases like Ms. Franklin's are few and far between.
I know there are some who are already pissed with me for writing this blog. Although their reasons might be voiced differently, it all boils down to, "how dare you speak against the Black male in public? How dare you not show the utmost and complete sorrow for the hardships he goes through? See, that's the f*cking problem with Black women. They always complain and they don't stand by their men." (Yeah, tell that shit to all those Black mothers raising Black boys ALONE.) I couldn't care less. Yeah, we might graduate from college more, but think about the affect that not seeing our men graduate with us has on us. Yeah, we might go to jail less, but think about the burden that not having our men free to help us improve our community places on us. And totally aside from anything to do with Black men (yes, Black women are able to operate and have issues that don't necessarily have to involve any man), think of the hardships we go through as human beings.
I'm not trying to beat up on Black men, as a whole. It's not their faults any more than it is ours, in many cases. I'm not trying to say that Black men don't have it hard all around the world. All I'm saying is that the same goes for Black women.
But I guess we truly don't matter.
I Wear The Mask Like A Mutha!
Originally posted on Tuesday, August 07, 2007
I wear the mask like a mutha!
Current mood: high
(Warning...this note might not make sense to the naked eye. I am not trying to be deep. I'm having a moment of streaming consciousness and have decided to write it down. Anything that is written between these *two* thingies signals me performing the action contained within them. Wherever there is a break between only a word or a sentence in a paragraph, it means that I am envisioning what you would look like if I were saying this to you face-to-face. Get it? Got it? Good. *thumbs up* Just testing. Let's begin.)
I know we all know the phrase, "we wear the mask" from the poem of the same title by Paul Lawrence Dunbar (shout-out to my mama who graduated from Dunbar H.S. in 1964! I see ya!).
Wait?
We don't?
That's a damn shame. The public school system is f*cked up.
Well, since everyday is a great day for teaching and learning, allow me to share:
We wear the mask that grins and lies,
It hides our cheeks and shades our eyes,--
This debt we pay to human guile;
With torn and bleeding hearts we smile,
And mouth with myriad subtleties.
Why should the world be overwise,
In counting all our tears and sighs?
Nay, let them only see us, while
We wear the mask.
We smile, but, O great Christ, our cries
To thee from tortured souls arise.
We sing, but oh the clay is vile
Beneath our feet, and long the mile;
But let the world dream otherwise,
We wear the mask!
I know, dry your tears. Can you believe that any one group of people could be beaten and deprived so much that one of them could feel like writing this? No?
You must be white.
*shrugging*
I'm sorry, y'all just tend to be a bit more...optimistic than Black people.
Anyway, back to the beginning of this note. So, now that you know what the phrase means, let me tell you why I was reminded of it.
I wear my Blackness like a coat of many colors. I carry my Blackness like the biggest Christmas present ever created. I feel my Blackness like the piercing sting of a venomous snake bite. I hear my Blackness like that favorite Marvin Gaye song that your mama always played when she was happy. I smell my Blackness like the aroma of ribs barbecuing on a hot July morning. I AM my Blackness like God is love.
So why then is it that at the moment that a white person enters my line of vision am I so willing to shrug it off?
Wait! Don't cast me away just yet! It's not what you think! Please don't banish me to Clarence-Colin-and-Condoleeza-Land!
I do it unwillingly. Unwittingly. Unknowingly.
Ashamedly.
It's just that, I speak a totally different language. Like, if I were saying this to a Black friend, right now, in person, it would sound totally different. Like, first of all, there would be less of the words, "like," "different," and "totally."
But since I am here, with you, and YOU might be white, I have to write it like this.
Why? Well, because, *whispering* I don't want to embarass them.*pointing upwards*
You know...them! The ancestors dummy! Ok, I know that I'm not making a good case as to why I shouldn't be perceived as crazy. But once, again, allow me to explain.
I heard what they went through. I've seen what it did to them. And I really know how hard they really tried. And they lived that life with only the hope of ever seeing freedom.
And I'll be damned if I act a fool out here in front of these white folks!
(I know probably any Black person who reads this has heard this many times in their lives. Mostly during those pre-pubscent years when you felt bold and stupid enough to say anything, EVEN IN FRONT OF THESE WHITE FOLKS!)
Wouldn't that have made it all in vain? And wouldn't that be the ultimate tragedy on top of the ultimate crime?
If my ancestors went through all they went through, and I can think of nothing better to do than allow my brotha to swipe a credit card down the crack of my ass. If my ancestors went through all they went through, and I can think of nothing better to do than allow my hand to even think of making that motion on my sista's behind?
Or worse yet, if I choose to shake my behind to the background music of this pornographical exploit?
*shrugs*
I dunno, and I can't really get into all that right now cause I need to be going to bed pretty soon.
But, I'd like to think that even if they don't know it, that I know it. I know that they went through all of that so I could graduate from 8th grade. I know they went through all of that so that I could live in a house that my mother owned. I know they went through all of that so that when that little white boy called me a "nigga," his parents apologized to my mother. I know they went through all of that so that I could be entering my second year of graduate school.
Every slight made them angrier and gave them more courage to fight back.
And what would they think if they saw that they went through all of that so that we could act a damn fool on television IN FRONT OF ALL THESE WHITE FOLKS?
So, when a white person walks into my line of vision, I straighten up. I fly right. I might drop a little jive talk every now and then just to remind them that, "yes, I am Black, and I will whoop your ass if you even try it," but they know that I am intelligent enough to go right back into "intellectual" mode.
In fact, I might even forgive their slights instead of beating their asses because I don't want them to think that all Black people are violent. (That last line goes out to the white girl who had the nerve to tell me that her grandfather used to call people, "niggers." And no, she didn't say "the n word." She said, "niggas." And I should've snatched her ass from appetite to asshole up in that, but I only turned my head, relaxed, related, and released.)
Because I just can't stand the thought of Martin knowing that the Black community is raising 100 million dollars so that a graven image of him can be erected in the capital of a country made rich off of his ancestor's blood. I believe he would wince at the notion of us not spending that on education.
(By the way, I just stopped typing this note momentarily to look at my mother crazy for suggesting that I call a Black male friend that I was close to years ago, because he's leaving for Iraq soon. Umm, I'd vote for Bush if I thought he could get us out of there!)
So, everytime I drop a bit of the King's English on em (like how I put that jive talk right there?), I wink up to Anne Durr, my great-grandmother who was not meant to be constrained by the color of her skin and fought it all her life. I wink up to my grandmother Myrtle Jones who possibly looked for love in all of the wrong places, but did find her way.
I say, "yeah, I know it hurt like hell. But even though it shouldn't mean anything to you or me, them white folks know that we're just as smart as they are. Even if just for one refined, "hello."
So, yes, I wear the mask. I'd rather not, but it's become so engrained in my being, that I cannot help myself. I can only anticipate being able to let go in front of those like me.
I wear the mask like a mutha!
Current mood: high
(Warning...this note might not make sense to the naked eye. I am not trying to be deep. I'm having a moment of streaming consciousness and have decided to write it down. Anything that is written between these *two* thingies signals me performing the action contained within them. Wherever there is a break between only a word or a sentence in a paragraph, it means that I am envisioning what you would look like if I were saying this to you face-to-face. Get it? Got it? Good. *thumbs up* Just testing. Let's begin.)
I know we all know the phrase, "we wear the mask" from the poem of the same title by Paul Lawrence Dunbar (shout-out to my mama who graduated from Dunbar H.S. in 1964! I see ya!).
Wait?
We don't?
That's a damn shame. The public school system is f*cked up.
Well, since everyday is a great day for teaching and learning, allow me to share:
We wear the mask that grins and lies,
It hides our cheeks and shades our eyes,--
This debt we pay to human guile;
With torn and bleeding hearts we smile,
And mouth with myriad subtleties.
Why should the world be overwise,
In counting all our tears and sighs?
Nay, let them only see us, while
We wear the mask.
We smile, but, O great Christ, our cries
To thee from tortured souls arise.
We sing, but oh the clay is vile
Beneath our feet, and long the mile;
But let the world dream otherwise,
We wear the mask!
I know, dry your tears. Can you believe that any one group of people could be beaten and deprived so much that one of them could feel like writing this? No?
You must be white.
*shrugging*
I'm sorry, y'all just tend to be a bit more...optimistic than Black people.
Anyway, back to the beginning of this note. So, now that you know what the phrase means, let me tell you why I was reminded of it.
I wear my Blackness like a coat of many colors. I carry my Blackness like the biggest Christmas present ever created. I feel my Blackness like the piercing sting of a venomous snake bite. I hear my Blackness like that favorite Marvin Gaye song that your mama always played when she was happy. I smell my Blackness like the aroma of ribs barbecuing on a hot July morning. I AM my Blackness like God is love.
So why then is it that at the moment that a white person enters my line of vision am I so willing to shrug it off?
Wait! Don't cast me away just yet! It's not what you think! Please don't banish me to Clarence-Colin-and-Condoleeza-Land!
I do it unwillingly. Unwittingly. Unknowingly.
Ashamedly.
It's just that, I speak a totally different language. Like, if I were saying this to a Black friend, right now, in person, it would sound totally different. Like, first of all, there would be less of the words, "like," "different," and "totally."
But since I am here, with you, and YOU might be white, I have to write it like this.
Why? Well, because, *whispering* I don't want to embarass them.*pointing upwards*
You know...them! The ancestors dummy! Ok, I know that I'm not making a good case as to why I shouldn't be perceived as crazy. But once, again, allow me to explain.
I heard what they went through. I've seen what it did to them. And I really know how hard they really tried. And they lived that life with only the hope of ever seeing freedom.
And I'll be damned if I act a fool out here in front of these white folks!
(I know probably any Black person who reads this has heard this many times in their lives. Mostly during those pre-pubscent years when you felt bold and stupid enough to say anything, EVEN IN FRONT OF THESE WHITE FOLKS!)
Wouldn't that have made it all in vain? And wouldn't that be the ultimate tragedy on top of the ultimate crime?
If my ancestors went through all they went through, and I can think of nothing better to do than allow my brotha to swipe a credit card down the crack of my ass. If my ancestors went through all they went through, and I can think of nothing better to do than allow my hand to even think of making that motion on my sista's behind?
Or worse yet, if I choose to shake my behind to the background music of this pornographical exploit?
*shrugs*
I dunno, and I can't really get into all that right now cause I need to be going to bed pretty soon.
But, I'd like to think that even if they don't know it, that I know it. I know that they went through all of that so I could graduate from 8th grade. I know they went through all of that so that I could live in a house that my mother owned. I know they went through all of that so that when that little white boy called me a "nigga," his parents apologized to my mother. I know they went through all of that so that I could be entering my second year of graduate school.
Every slight made them angrier and gave them more courage to fight back.
And what would they think if they saw that they went through all of that so that we could act a damn fool on television IN FRONT OF ALL THESE WHITE FOLKS?
So, when a white person walks into my line of vision, I straighten up. I fly right. I might drop a little jive talk every now and then just to remind them that, "yes, I am Black, and I will whoop your ass if you even try it," but they know that I am intelligent enough to go right back into "intellectual" mode.
In fact, I might even forgive their slights instead of beating their asses because I don't want them to think that all Black people are violent. (That last line goes out to the white girl who had the nerve to tell me that her grandfather used to call people, "niggers." And no, she didn't say "the n word." She said, "niggas." And I should've snatched her ass from appetite to asshole up in that, but I only turned my head, relaxed, related, and released.)
Because I just can't stand the thought of Martin knowing that the Black community is raising 100 million dollars so that a graven image of him can be erected in the capital of a country made rich off of his ancestor's blood. I believe he would wince at the notion of us not spending that on education.
(By the way, I just stopped typing this note momentarily to look at my mother crazy for suggesting that I call a Black male friend that I was close to years ago, because he's leaving for Iraq soon. Umm, I'd vote for Bush if I thought he could get us out of there!)
So, everytime I drop a bit of the King's English on em (like how I put that jive talk right there?), I wink up to Anne Durr, my great-grandmother who was not meant to be constrained by the color of her skin and fought it all her life. I wink up to my grandmother Myrtle Jones who possibly looked for love in all of the wrong places, but did find her way.
I say, "yeah, I know it hurt like hell. But even though it shouldn't mean anything to you or me, them white folks know that we're just as smart as they are. Even if just for one refined, "hello."
So, yes, I wear the mask. I'd rather not, but it's become so engrained in my being, that I cannot help myself. I can only anticipate being able to let go in front of those like me.
What the 4th of July means to me.
Originally posted on Tuesday, July 03, 2007
What the 4th of July means to me?
Current mood: cranky
Category: Life
Not a damn thing.
Throughout my grade school and high school years I was in marching bands so I inevitably had to participate in 4th of July parades. Try as I might to muster up some semblance of patriotism, my only excitement pertaining to the holiday was over the ribs, potato salad, spaghetti, and myriad of desserts that I knew I'd be consuming later that day at my grandmother's house. I watched the white men, women, and children standing and cheering along the parade route with thinly veiled disdain and disgust.
After grandma got sick, 4th of July evenings were spent at a Will Smith movie and capped off with sausage deep dish pizza at Lou Malnati's.
For a couple of years, my mother purchased my sister and me t-shirts from Old Navy with flags on the front. Aside from the excitement that is induced by new clothes, the stars and stripes that my apparel donned meant nothing to me.
I'm sure you all know why.
Even at an early age, I felt a pain in my stomach every time I heard a white American talk about how proud the 4th made them feel. And when I heard Black folks talk about it...well...I vomited a little in my mouth.
Why the f*ck should I care about the so-called "Independence" of this country when my people were still enslaved? And not just enslaved, but tortured, beaten, raped, maimed, mutilated, and emotionally abused.
The following thought came to me last night as I watched the show "History Detectives" during which a woman marveled at the hope that a piece of currency distributed during the Revolutionary War gave her:
What about an enslaved mother whose children were ripped from her arms?
Now, of course, we've all thought about those women before. We've all thought about the people who had their families ripped apart during slavery. But then another thought that had never donned on me came into my line of perception.
What about those women who lived to see the day of Emancipation and spent the rest of their entire lives searching for their children?
Can you imagine freedom without the ones you love? Is it really freedom at all?
The joy that those women should've felt upon being released from their mortal chains was never given a chance to fully manifest itself because a piece of them was missing...never to be found again.
What about watching your baby starve while you were forced to let Ms. Anne's little brat suck on your breast?
What about watching your daughters, sisters, mothers, and wives be forcefully raped by Massah while you, a man, had to sit by, helpless, and watch?
And all of this happened…while ..America was free.
And let's not get into all of the subsequent celebrations of America's independence that occurred after our Emancipation.
What about having to slave over hot stoves and ovens to cook Ms. Anne's huge celebratory dinner before you went home to your family?
What about not being allowed to participate in 4th of July parades because the Klan was marching down Main Street?
What about sitting in barracks and trenches in a foreign country on the 4th of July with the rest of your segregated unit?
The 4th of July don't mean shit to me.
I'll admit that I'm prone to bouts of patriotism at times. I'll say the pledge. I'll sing the National Anthem. I'll scream for America at the Olympics (if there aren't any other people of African descent participating). Hell, I've even gotten defensive when non-Americans have critcized this country (mainly because I feel that every a lot of folks are so worried about what America has done that they fail to remember that their countries have done...and are still doing).
But the 4th has always been my most un-patriotic day because it reminds me so much of the hypocrisy of this country. It also reminds me of how the majority cares so little about Black folks. They have the nerve to celebrate this day, and expect us to celebrate it, with a straight face! Knowing that damn near all of the folks who signed the Declaration of Independence enslaved Africans. Knowing that Black folks were legally enslaved for damn near 100 more years after the signing. Knowing that they have, and still do, treat us like shit in this country!
Man...and I say this in the nicest way possible...and hope it is accepted in the spirit in which it was intended...
FUCK THE 4TH OF JULY!
Now excuse me, I've got to pack my belongings. We're getting off early for the holiday. (Oh, I know you didn't think I was gonna work on the 4th, did ya? You must not know bout me!)
What, to the American slave, is your 4th of July? I answer: a day that reveals to him, more than all other days in the year, the gross injustice and cruelty to which he is the constant victim. To him, your celebration is a sham; your boasted liberty, an unholy license; your national greatness, swelling vanity; your sounds of rejoicing are empty and heartless; your denunciations of tyrants, brass fronted impudence; your shouts of liberty and equality, hollow mockery; your prayers and hymns, your sermons and thanksgivings, with all your religious parade, and solemnity, are, to him, mere bombast, fraud, deception, impiety, and hypocrisy - a thin veil to cover up crimes which would disgrace a nation of savages. There is not a nation on the earth guilty of practices, more shocking and bloody, than are the people of these United States, at this very hour.
Frederick Douglas (1852)
What the 4th of July means to me?
Current mood: cranky
Category: Life
Not a damn thing.
Throughout my grade school and high school years I was in marching bands so I inevitably had to participate in 4th of July parades. Try as I might to muster up some semblance of patriotism, my only excitement pertaining to the holiday was over the ribs, potato salad, spaghetti, and myriad of desserts that I knew I'd be consuming later that day at my grandmother's house. I watched the white men, women, and children standing and cheering along the parade route with thinly veiled disdain and disgust.
After grandma got sick, 4th of July evenings were spent at a Will Smith movie and capped off with sausage deep dish pizza at Lou Malnati's.
For a couple of years, my mother purchased my sister and me t-shirts from Old Navy with flags on the front. Aside from the excitement that is induced by new clothes, the stars and stripes that my apparel donned meant nothing to me.
I'm sure you all know why.
Even at an early age, I felt a pain in my stomach every time I heard a white American talk about how proud the 4th made them feel. And when I heard Black folks talk about it...well...I vomited a little in my mouth.
Why the f*ck should I care about the so-called "Independence" of this country when my people were still enslaved? And not just enslaved, but tortured, beaten, raped, maimed, mutilated, and emotionally abused.
The following thought came to me last night as I watched the show "History Detectives" during which a woman marveled at the hope that a piece of currency distributed during the Revolutionary War gave her:
What about an enslaved mother whose children were ripped from her arms?
Now, of course, we've all thought about those women before. We've all thought about the people who had their families ripped apart during slavery. But then another thought that had never donned on me came into my line of perception.
What about those women who lived to see the day of Emancipation and spent the rest of their entire lives searching for their children?
Can you imagine freedom without the ones you love? Is it really freedom at all?
The joy that those women should've felt upon being released from their mortal chains was never given a chance to fully manifest itself because a piece of them was missing...never to be found again.
What about watching your baby starve while you were forced to let Ms. Anne's little brat suck on your breast?
What about watching your daughters, sisters, mothers, and wives be forcefully raped by Massah while you, a man, had to sit by, helpless, and watch?
And all of this happened…while ..America was free.
And let's not get into all of the subsequent celebrations of America's independence that occurred after our Emancipation.
What about having to slave over hot stoves and ovens to cook Ms. Anne's huge celebratory dinner before you went home to your family?
What about not being allowed to participate in 4th of July parades because the Klan was marching down Main Street?
What about sitting in barracks and trenches in a foreign country on the 4th of July with the rest of your segregated unit?
The 4th of July don't mean shit to me.
I'll admit that I'm prone to bouts of patriotism at times. I'll say the pledge. I'll sing the National Anthem. I'll scream for America at the Olympics (if there aren't any other people of African descent participating). Hell, I've even gotten defensive when non-Americans have critcized this country (mainly because I feel that every a lot of folks are so worried about what America has done that they fail to remember that their countries have done...and are still doing).
But the 4th has always been my most un-patriotic day because it reminds me so much of the hypocrisy of this country. It also reminds me of how the majority cares so little about Black folks. They have the nerve to celebrate this day, and expect us to celebrate it, with a straight face! Knowing that damn near all of the folks who signed the Declaration of Independence enslaved Africans. Knowing that Black folks were legally enslaved for damn near 100 more years after the signing. Knowing that they have, and still do, treat us like shit in this country!
Man...and I say this in the nicest way possible...and hope it is accepted in the spirit in which it was intended...
FUCK THE 4TH OF JULY!
Now excuse me, I've got to pack my belongings. We're getting off early for the holiday. (Oh, I know you didn't think I was gonna work on the 4th, did ya? You must not know bout me!)
What, to the American slave, is your 4th of July? I answer: a day that reveals to him, more than all other days in the year, the gross injustice and cruelty to which he is the constant victim. To him, your celebration is a sham; your boasted liberty, an unholy license; your national greatness, swelling vanity; your sounds of rejoicing are empty and heartless; your denunciations of tyrants, brass fronted impudence; your shouts of liberty and equality, hollow mockery; your prayers and hymns, your sermons and thanksgivings, with all your religious parade, and solemnity, are, to him, mere bombast, fraud, deception, impiety, and hypocrisy - a thin veil to cover up crimes which would disgrace a nation of savages. There is not a nation on the earth guilty of practices, more shocking and bloody, than are the people of these United States, at this very hour.
Frederick Douglas (1852)
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