Why Oprah Gets On My Nerves

Originally posted Monday, May 28, 2007

Why Oprah Gets On My Nerves
Current mood: indifferent
Category: Movies, TV, Celebrities

Unfortunately, I've had multiple discussions with different people as to the various reasons that I don't really like Oprah as a talk show host. Now, I know the first thing some folks are going to do is talk about how much money she gives away, how she built a school for South African girls, etc, etc, etc. That's all well and fine. Kudos to her for that. (Although I sincerely hope she doesn't give charitably for recognition.) However, I am of the honest opinion that to whom much is given, much is required. So excuse me for not jumping with glee because she's giving away a couple of her millions to those who really need it. That's what she's supposed to do. (It's like when my mother was the only parent around not rewarding my good grades with cash, clothes, or video games. In her opinion, I was a child and my only job was to get good grades. And you DO NOT get rewarded for doing what the hell you are supposed to do. You get room, board, piano and flute lessons.)

My main issue with Oprah lies in the fact that she is primarily a media personality and I find her to be increasingly irresponsible with the way that she handles social issues and commentary. Everyone, including Oprah (hell, especially Oprah) knows that her target audience is middle-aged, middle-class, and heterosexual white women. Now, from what I know about middle-aged, middle-class, and heterosexual white women, (and forgive me if this sounds as if I'm generalizing…or don't forgive me. I couldn't really care less.) unless they have had many opportunities to become exposed and aware of those who are not like them, they are generally clueless about the world around them.

Case in point. I worked with an extremely sweet woman who fit into the aforementioned category, and when I cut my hair off and went natural, she, like many other white people, had a bunch of questions. The primary one was, "how do you get your hair to do that?" Now, I thought she was referring to the fact that my hair is more coils than kinks because I've had many Black people ask me about that. But, no. She was asking me how I got my hair not to be straight. I have to say, I was just as confused as she. After hashing it out, with the help of several other people (some Black, some white) we finally got down to the main misunderstanding. It boiled down to the fact that because the majority of Black women in America chemically straighten their hair, she thought that this is how Black women's hair naturally grows. She'd never heard of relaxers, lye, hot combs, or anything of the sort. To her, my coily hair obviously had been processed into nappy submission. It confounded me that such a huge aspect of everyday Black life and culture could be totally overlooked by a member of the majority.

Clueless.

But not solely to blame. From the moment that we are all born white people and their media instill in us standards of beauty and behavior. They've done such a great job of making everyone in the world believe they're the cutest things coming, that "people of color" now do their jobs for them.

And Oprah is one of their main employees.

Most Black women just help instill self-hate and doubt into those around them. They do it by perming their daughter's hair as soon as it grows long enough to run a comb through. They do it by fawning over the local light-skinned girl down the block. They do it by glorifying "pretty" (translation: light) eyes over the dark brown ones that the majority of Black people have. They do it by letting their children listen to rap songs glorifying women who are "Black & Asian" as if "Black & Black" ain't good enough. Many of them do it unknowingly, but they do it all the same. Unfortunately, it has the same effect on a Black child as blatantly telling them, "If you're white, you're alright. If you're brown, stick around. If you're Black, get back!"

However, while these women only tend to wreak havoc to those closest to them, Oprah gets to do it for everybody!

Let's start from the beginning.

First of all, I know the name of the show is "Oprah." I really do. But why does Oprah feel the need to interrupt folks all the time to interject her "knowledge"? Yes, Oprah was poor. Yes, Oprah was raped. Yes, Oprah has had to struggle. Who hasn't? Oprah's struggle does NOT make her the primary authority on EVERYTHING! I will never forget watching her interview President Bill Clinton on her show and barely allowing him to get in two words edgewise. I know Oprah's a billionaire, but if she thinks she has more knowledge and experiences than a Rhodes Scholar President, somebody done told her all kinds of wrong!

But what really irks me about her constant interrupting is when it's being done while a guest is talking about a social issue. Primarily a social issue that could make white folks uncomfortable. I know that Oprah has to keep her target audience happy if she cares to keep the money coming in, but attempting to make white women (and men) feel blameless for every problem in the world is irresponsible on many levels.

Today she was talking about self-hate among people of color. She had a young Black male on there that hated himself because he was very dark-skinned. She also had Suchin Pak (the MTV VJ) come and speak on how her eyes were/are a constant source of discomfort for her because they are distinctly Asian.

Now, you know Oprah don't always roll solo. Along for the ride today was light, bright, damn-near-white Dr. Robin lecturing the mother of the Black boy about how his self-hate came to be. They talked about how she probably learned self-hate from her parents and then passed it down to him. They talked about how the Black kids making fun of him contributed to the problem. What they did not address was how and why dark-skinned became an undesirable trait. They did not address how race was created by whites do give them an excuse and reason for abusing people who didn't look like them. They did not explain that light-skinned Black folks are the result of numerous rapes committed by white slave-owners on the helpless and unwilling Black women that they enslaved. All they talked about was how Black people hurt other Black people, and how our issues are solely of our creation.

When Suchin came on and attempted to address the "Western" standards that led to her self-hatred, Oprah promptly cut her off by saying, "well, how can we treat you differently when we don't even know it's an issue for you?"

blank stare

Dear Oprah,
White people might not blatantly contribute to self-hatred in people of color anymore, but they started it. And, they covertly continue to contribute to these issues by forcing us to look at them flip their damn hair in our faces all the damn time! All through class! All while we're trying to listen to the damn professor! (Sorry, momentary flashback.)

I was so irked by the fact that the moment Suchin really began to get to the crux of the matter (white racism and their imposed standards of beauty) Oprah cut her off! Oprah obviously did not want Suchin to say anything that would make her precious white constituents uncomfortable. So, instead of allowing the truth to be told, and really giving white women something to think about (and perhaps, assisting them in helping to change or broaden standards of beauty), she silenced her.

And that was just today!

Here are some other examples:

• Her portrayal of the "DL" controversy. She had J.L. King's ridiculously dishonest ass on her show and vilified Black men and their oversexed and immoral ways. (Stereotypes anyone?) She made it seem as if Black men are monsters that Black women better watch if they don't wanna catch AIDS! A couple of months later, she had white men on the show who had cheated on their wives with men, and all she did was simply and calmly ask them about what could've possibly happened during their childhood that would cause them to behave in this manner. And let's not get into how she glorified the movie "Brokeback Mountain" which was about two men having sex with each other in spite of the fact that they were both married to women. Why is it that when Black men dishonestly have sex with other men, it's the scary and hideous "D.L. Syndrome," but when Heath Ledger does the exact same thing in a movie, it's a love story?
• Her constant insistence on the existence of the "American Dream." First of all, the notion that being able to take care of one's family and have a life that one can be proud of and comfortable in, is exclusively "American" is all sorts of ridiculous! However, I do suppose that the addition of expensive cars, expensive clothes, expensive jewelry and status, while totally neglecting one's community does give quite an American spin on it, huh? But on top of that, she makes it seem that anyone who has not attained this "dream" is simply lazy and hasn't worked for it. She seldom acknowledges the social systems that are put in place to prevent everyone from obtaining said "dream."
• Grouping together the issues of Black and white people. I know that everyone has their own personal struggles. Skinny women might want a bigger butt. Plus-sized women might want a thinner waist. Straight-haired women might want more volume. Kinky-haired women might want more…straightness. While, if given the chance, all of these issues can consume one's life, all issues aren't created equal, and all issues do not have the same starting point. A white woman is hardly trying to look Black when she puts a perm in her hair. However, although people might say that the reasons behind Black women straightening their hair has changed, the initial motivation for Africans to straighten their hair was to look more like white people. It's one thing to change your hair color because you're a white woman who thinks that blonde white women are more attractive than brunette ones. It's a totally different thing to place caustic chemicals on your head for the majority of your life in order to mimic the hair texture of the race of people who have abused your people for centuries. Big difference.
• Only blaming Black people for the issues in our community in front of the whole world. One of her most recent forays into this insulting behavior was the backlash on the hip-hop community after Don Imus "nappy-headed hoe" comment. I never once heard her complain about the white millionaires who bankroll misogynistic rap. In fact, most of her complaints didn't even focus on racist white people like Imus who say racist things. Her reaction was to blame BLACK rappers. Of course, this feeds into the illusion Black people are the sole cause of racism and that it is our issue and not theirs. It also tells white people that it's safe to absolve themselves of any of the guilt they should feel over the hundreds of years that they've mistreated us. Perhaps I am of the ole skool belief that Black folks don't need to air our dirty laundry for all of white America to see. Why? Because they simply use it against us. I simply wanted to vomit as I saw all these white women shaking their heads in agreement with these Black people placing the blame for white racism on Black people.

Oprah is irresponsible. Instead of using the incredible influence that she has to truly change the face of America and honestly help eradicate racism, she uses her show to pretend to delve into deep matters, but only to the point where her money source can feel comfortable. I truly believe that, through her show being broadcasted world wide for 10+ years, she has misguided more white women (and Black women) than she has helped. I know that she is just a media personality. However she doesn't present herself in that way. She acts as if she's an authority on social issues and then grossly mishandles them.

But hey, what do I know? I'm just a regular ole, nappy headed Black woman who hasn't seemingly become lighter and lighter as the years have rolled by. I don't have a billion dollars. I don't have a magazine where I'm one of the few Black faces on the pages. White women don't worship at my feet. I don't devote entire shows to finding treasures in my attic or to my favorite expensive things, while only a couple of shows are dedicated to genocides and wars. I'm not successful in that "American Dream" kinda way. But I'd rather be real for free than fake for a billion.